From Beacon Hills, CA. I've tried a lot of things and lived in a lot of places. Archery, history and gymnastics are some of my hobbies, but I'm always ready to try something new.
[ this is an unfortunate conversation to have via text. Ben feels the disattached state of it all — how easily the words flow when there isn't eye contact to maintain. it's also liberating. still, it doesn't satisfy his yearning to see her. ]
[ she can't deny how much he may or may not like how that sounds. not necessary that he can't deny her anything, but how roundabout he's trying to do this. it's kind of cute. ]
[ it's probably just as well that she can't see him because when he says too good, he means his thoughts about her and where they've strayed. it's a risky line he's crossing here. ]
I have a vivid imagination. You can thank years of hiding behind books for that.
What makes you doubt it?
[ that anything can be too good, his words, whatever. ]
[ it doesn't take her long to get there. she's already basically out the door when she gets the response, not really thinking about it as she makes her way to his house. part of her feels a little nervous, but in a more excited way. another part recognizes that it's been a long time since she's been able to feel this way - uncomplicated, easy, happy.
allison doesn't want to think too much about it, considering the circumstances. where she is. instead, she just keeps walking, making it up to his door about ten minutes later and knocking. ]
[ when he was younger, he thought his neighborhood's houses couldn't be closer together. there were fences and doors, but ultimately, everything was clustered. he'd wanted more privacy as any teenager would. now he finds himself grateful that it only takes fifteen minutes maximum to get nearly anywhere in Eudio. there's always noise. someone is always awake to have a conversation with. it amazes him, sometimes, that he grew out of burying his face in a book and rolling his eyes and grew into participating in his life. he's doing it right now and trying to remain normal. it doesn't have to be weird because they both checked yes, doesn't have to mean anything more than that's what they're here for.
Ben's trying not to read into it, into anything while he circles a building on his map from city hall. he's drawn over places, marked others. he has a corresponding journal that he takes notes in to document his memories and to provide commentary for his brothers, should they arrive.
the knock at the door has him snapping the journal shut in his hand and staring with baited breath. should he have changed? he can't remember the last time today that he glanced in the mirror to check his hair or to make sure there's nothing on his face. too late now. at least he doesn't have coffee breath. he wipes his palms on his jeans and hopes that she doesn't mind that he's more or less in lazy clothes. he's wearing a sleeveless hoody, which he obviously cut the arms off of himself. it's a lack of layers he never would have dared to wear back home. ]
It's open, [ he calls, but he still crosses the living room to greet her and/or get the door for her if she's too shy to barge in. ]
[ allison never really spent enough time in one place to get used to any kind of living. some urban, some rural, some neighbors, some trees. she was always used to the change of it - if she didn't like the girl who lived next door, she'd be in a new city in a few months, maybe a new town. some stretches she was homeschooled, others she wasn't, and it was her own adaptability that kept her going.
beacon hills was the first time she really felt at home. like she had people, like she had friends, who wouldn't actually move with her when she left the next time.
eudio felt a little bit like that. like it was only temporary, only a place for her to be for now, before moving on. but that's not quite right, is it? because she's found more than that. because she has more people than that - not that she's sure she's ready to think about it.
allison hears ben call out to her, and opens the door without issue, looking around once she gets the door open. when she looks up at sees him walking towards the door, she smiles - bright and easy. because this is easy. easier than anything from home, than anything else she's done here. ]
Hey. [ smiling is natural with her. seeing her warms him from the inside out. he doesn't know why. yes, she's beautiful and yes, she's been kind to him but it's more than that. or it could be, if they keep spending time together like this. he dips his head and gestures with his hands, once he recognizes that he's staring at her. don't be such a freak, he chides himself. ]
Um—please, come in. Make yourself at home. Can I grab you anything to drink or eat?
[ his apartment isn't messy. it's semi-organized even if one half of the coffee table has a small stack of library books and the kitchen table has turned into a project station. when he strides towards the couch to grab a throw blanket and fold it up, it's only to make room for her to sit. Ben glances back over at her, curiosity clear on his face. he doesn't have much, but what he does have he's more than willing to share. he's used to rationing and living simplistically—he hasn't been able to shake that off just yet. ]
[ she catches a little bit of the stare, and she holds it, feeling something oddly familiar about the look in his eyes, something that has her stomach turning in a way it hasn't for a while. she probably doesn't notice, that the open-eyed stare he's giving her is so much like the one scott used to give her, before they started dating, but she can appreciate the feeling it gives her all the same.
but then ben is being a host, and allison just keeps smiling (something that, for whatever reason, is a lot easier to do around him than wherever it was she was before this), closing the door behind her and stepping inside. ]
Thanks, but I'm okay. [ she lets her eyes wander a bit as she keeps walking in so that she's closer to him rather than right inside the door. ] Your apartment's nice.
{ awkward smalltalk, this is definitely what they need. especially since she's full of antsy energy of not being able to sit in her house with everyone back home looming over her, and that conversation they just had. she fidgets a little with the hem of her sweater, hovering at his side. ]
[ she's fine and while he's glad that she isn't left wanting, it leaves him not knowing what to do with himself. there had never been much time to reflect on his own thoughts three months ago, let alone to stand in a room alone with a girl. it's a welcome change but the newness has him feeling parched and fidgety. instead of focusing on the tension he's introducing to the room, he follows her gaze around his living room, as if to confirm her validation of his apartment.
he supposes it is nice as accommodations go. ]
I don't actually know what to do with it. [ he tells her frankly and without reserve. ( she's really close to him and she's playing with the edge of her sweater and Ben's tempted to grab her hand just to get her to stop doing that. ) ] This is the first time I've had a place of my own.
[ it explains why the television's on as background noise and why he isn't immersed in it. the volume's low enough that it blurs as white noise, faded but there. without further ado, he takes a seat on the couch and makes room for Allison. he's sitting on the middle cushion and it's her call if she sits next to him or scoots all the way to the arm of the couch to carve some space for herself. he's not preoccupying himself with what she picks because he's leaning over to grab the remote. ]
Don't feel obligated to find out if the T-Rex and Stegosaurus showdown gets a round two. I'm not really watching it.
[ it's funny, in a lot of ways, how they both can come from a place so hard and so awful, and somehow still fall victim to easy teenager awkwardness. it makes her smile, just knowing this doesn't change. not for ben, not for her, not for anyone. ]
I can tell. [ it's just a little bit of teasing. but when she looks back over to him, the smile should be enough for him to tell. ] I didn't really have a choice. I moved in with my friend from home when I got here. [ not that she's lived on her own, either, but she didn't have to worry about it even when she got here.
but it's not bad. bare, maybe, but clean. organized. she knows that he's from a place where he's not sued to having things, so having them even here must be hard for him.
( she can't help but wonder what she could add, how she could help, but then has to stop herself because that's stepping in way too fast and way too hard and she's not sure if either of them need that )
that's when ben goes to sit on the couch, settling in a way that makes it obvious he's letting her choose where she wants to sit. the thoughtfulness of it has her smiling, walking over a couple of steps behind him and settling directly next to him on the couch. directly next to - but with a couple of inches of space between them. she's curious. ]
See, I was excited to see the comeback. You can't get my hopes up like that and not deliver.
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then I guess we don't have anything to worry about
you're saying but like you can only have one or the other.
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[ in his experience, there is no having both. ]
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what if I want both?
[ are you going to tell her no? ]
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[ because what if and i do have different meanings. ]
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[ because she had a good feeling that ben needs it spelled out for him. ]
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[ this is an unfortunate conversation to have via text. Ben feels the disattached state of it all — how easily the words flow when there isn't eye contact to maintain. it's also liberating. still, it doesn't satisfy his yearning to see her. ]
I can't say I haven't thought about it.
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I'm hoping in a good way
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Arguably, too good.
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I have a vivid imagination. You can thank years of hiding behind books for that.
What makes you doubt it?
[ that anything can be too good, his words, whatever. ]
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don't underestimate my imagination either
[ she doesn't exactly know how she wants to answer his question, though. so instead she gives a question of her own. ]
what are you doing right now?
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[ dream of underestimating her, that is. he's totally going to dream about Allison thinking about him, whether or not it has grounds in reality. ]
Watching the history channel, finishing some touches on a project, and wondering how people sit in their apartments this long. Why?
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because I don't want to be in my house anymore
what special are you watching?
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Jurassic Fight Club. I wish I could make this stuff up. It's background noise until something better comes on.
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I don't want to interfere with your tv watching
[ it's a joke. she's already getting ready. ]
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[ clearly, the most serious history channel viewer right here. ]
If we're still speaking honestly, I'd rather watch you.
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I'll be over in 10 minutes?
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I'll be here.
action spaaaammmmmm
allison doesn't want to think too much about it, considering the circumstances. where she is. instead, she just keeps walking, making it up to his door about ten minutes later and knocking. ]
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Ben's trying not to read into it, into anything while he circles a building on his map from city hall. he's drawn over places, marked others. he has a corresponding journal that he takes notes in to document his memories and to provide commentary for his brothers, should they arrive.
the knock at the door has him snapping the journal shut in his hand and staring with baited breath. should he have changed? he can't remember the last time today that he glanced in the mirror to check his hair or to make sure there's nothing on his face. too late now. at least he doesn't have coffee breath. he wipes his palms on his jeans and hopes that she doesn't mind that he's more or less in lazy clothes. he's wearing a sleeveless hoody, which he obviously cut the arms off of himself. it's a lack of layers he never would have dared to wear back home. ]
It's open, [ he calls, but he still crosses the living room to greet her and/or get the door for her if she's too shy to barge in. ]
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beacon hills was the first time she really felt at home. like she had people, like she had friends, who wouldn't actually move with her when she left the next time.
eudio felt a little bit like that. like it was only temporary, only a place for her to be for now, before moving on. but that's not quite right, is it? because she's found more than that. because she has more people than that - not that she's sure she's ready to think about it.
allison hears ben call out to her, and opens the door without issue, looking around once she gets the door open. when she looks up at sees him walking towards the door, she smiles - bright and easy. because this is easy. easier than anything from home, than anything else she's done here. ]
Hi.
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Um—please, come in. Make yourself at home. Can I grab you anything to drink or eat?
[ his apartment isn't messy. it's semi-organized even if one half of the coffee table has a small stack of library books and the kitchen table has turned into a project station. when he strides towards the couch to grab a throw blanket and fold it up, it's only to make room for her to sit. Ben glances back over at her, curiosity clear on his face. he doesn't have much, but what he does have he's more than willing to share. he's used to rationing and living simplistically—he hasn't been able to shake that off just yet. ]
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but then ben is being a host, and allison just keeps smiling (something that, for whatever reason, is a lot easier to do around him than wherever it was she was before this), closing the door behind her and stepping inside. ]
Thanks, but I'm okay. [ she lets her eyes wander a bit as she keeps walking in so that she's closer to him rather than right inside the door. ] Your apartment's nice.
{ awkward smalltalk, this is definitely what they need. especially since she's full of antsy energy of not being able to sit in her house with everyone back home looming over her, and that conversation they just had. she fidgets a little with the hem of her sweater, hovering at his side. ]
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he supposes it is nice as accommodations go. ]
I don't actually know what to do with it. [ he tells her frankly and without reserve. ( she's really close to him and she's playing with the edge of her sweater and Ben's tempted to grab her hand just to get her to stop doing that. ) ] This is the first time I've had a place of my own.
[ it explains why the television's on as background noise and why he isn't immersed in it. the volume's low enough that it blurs as white noise, faded but there. without further ado, he takes a seat on the couch and makes room for Allison. he's sitting on the middle cushion and it's her call if she sits next to him or scoots all the way to the arm of the couch to carve some space for herself. he's not preoccupying himself with what she picks because he's leaning over to grab the remote. ]
Don't feel obligated to find out if the T-Rex and Stegosaurus showdown gets a round two. I'm not really watching it.
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I can tell. [ it's just a little bit of teasing. but when she looks back over to him, the smile should be enough for him to tell. ] I didn't really have a choice. I moved in with my friend from home when I got here. [ not that she's lived on her own, either, but she didn't have to worry about it even when she got here.
but it's not bad. bare, maybe, but clean. organized. she knows that he's from a place where he's not sued to having things, so having them even here must be hard for him.
( she can't help but wonder what she could add, how she could help, but then has to stop herself because that's stepping in way too fast and way too hard and she's not sure if either of them need that )
that's when ben goes to sit on the couch, settling in a way that makes it obvious he's letting her choose where she wants to sit. the thoughtfulness of it has her smiling, walking over a couple of steps behind him and settling directly next to him on the couch. directly next to - but with a couple of inches of space between them. she's curious. ]
See, I was excited to see the comeback. You can't get my hopes up like that and not deliver.
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